>Some days, most days lately, I look at my daughters and I just want to drink in their youth; their carefree little spirits, their beautiful sweet soft skin, fluffy cheeks and uninhibited joy. Children are amazing, and their perspective is priceless.
In the car on the way to school yesterday Leila says to me, “Mommy, I am not going to grow up anymore, I am going to stay this size forever!”
I didn’t respond right away, because I was thinking to myself right now, when there are no tantrums in sight, that doesn’t sound so bad to me. Every day I wake up missing my girls, and every night when they go to bed I am torn between wanting to bask in my freedom from their constant needs, and the sometimes overwhelming desire to sit by their beds all night memorizing their sweet faces and verifying every breath they take. The other night when I woke in the middle of the night to see Leila’s scared little face looking at us, I can’t say that it bothered me to see Cory lift her up and place her between us in our bed, where our very presence was enough to calm her back to sleep.
I came to my senses, and I reminded Leila that if she stayed this size forever, she wouldn’t get to go to kindergarten. Leila has been looking forward to kindergarten for about year now, and with one year left to go to get there, She quickly realized that she couldn’t stop growing right now. Instead she told me she would stop growing up as soon as she went to kindergarten.
I responded with, “But what about 1st grade? Do you think that might be fun someday?”
Leila had to think about that for a minute. “Ok, I will go to first grade, and then I am gonna stop growing up!”
I thought I better bring her back down to earth so I replied, “Well Leila, what about being 7, 8, 9??? You never know, maybe 10 is the best age!”
Her face turned sad and she looked down at her lap, that was covered by the special baby blanket that she has loved for the last 4 years. “But Momma, if I keep growing, I am going to outgrow my Nigh Night.”
“Leila, even if you get big, you can always keep your nigh night.”
Leila looked up at me, a little more hopefully now that I had reassured her that nigh night wasn’t going anywhere and she said, “Mommy, no matter how big I get, even when I am 10, I will still be your baby!”
No doubt about it!
>you are such a good mommy! your girls are so lucky…i love to read your blog b/c you are truthful and i can relate with everything that you write. 🙂
>So sweet, and you summed up the motherhood dilemma so well! I used to tell my dad that I would never be too big to sit on his lap.