I have always prided myself on my sense of self preservation. That looks dangerous? A quick risk assessment will tell me if its worth it or not and I proceed. I have made it to nearly 32 years old with no broken bones *knock on wood* and have had a pretty satisfying existence. If I die tomorrow I won’t have any regret.
Those are good things. At least I think so. Where the self preservation is really getting to me is on the trail. I want to run. I want to be fast, efficient and athletic. I hit the trail or the treadmill as often as I can make myself and I never fail to end up angry at myself as a scale back my jog to a walking pace when the going gets tough. I know I can keep going. I also know that I have an instinctual need to never let myself get to the point where I can’t keep going. When my tank gets down to a quarter left, I pull it into the station. I want to know how far I can get on one tank. Whoever said that running is more mental then physical had it right. Any tips on getting over the hurdle? Today I tried to slow down, focus on finishing my 5K without any walking stops, even if it meant jogging slower then I could walk just to not break my form. I finished in just over 35 minutes, but I slowed to a walking pace no less then 4 times on the route and I cursed myself every time. I wish I could be happy with my progress and not feel like a failure when I turn up Windsor Drive towards home.
Oh, and as a follow up to my previous running entry…I am no longer Obese. I am firmly overweight and pretty pleased with myself about that.