Jumping Daisy

Photography friends…why do my pictures turn out so yellow? I know I should know this, but like most every other hobby I have taken up, I only learn enough to get by, and never surpass mediocrity…

I would like to imagine that all of our evenings were spent like this…sitting around the table just being together and doing our thing.  In fact, even tonight was spent running around after work and with only a spare hour after dinner to relax together.  Things have been hectic.  My new job is keeping me mostly busy for the most part, though I am anxious to start managing my own projects.

Cory is really busy with work these days also working on extra projects and training on top of his regular work.

We have been doing a lot of girl scout cookie sales on the weekends.  Leila and I are well acquainted with the sidewalk outside of the local Wal-Mart.

Thea is quickly approaching her 3rd birthday and she is quick to let you know that she isn’t a baby anymore.  She is totally potty trained, with only the occasional accident when she is too busy to make the long trip to the bathroom.  When asked what she wants for her birthday, she likes to mix up her answers, but my favorite answer and her most frequent–“a teddy bear that’s as big as me!”

We nearly gave our dog away to my good friend Cheri, but Zoey couldn’t manage to get along with their other dog…not a big surprise really since Zoey is kind of evil.  When we told the girls that Zoey was going on a trip, and if she really liked it there…she was going to stay, Leila gave me a pouty face and then smiled and asked if she could have a gold fish.  Once Zoey was out of the house she upped the ante and asked me if Peacocks were legal pets in our state. (She is a big fan of the show Pets 101) As it turned out Zoey came back to us and at least I can say that I don’t have a pet Peacock. I have to admit I wish I didn’t have a pet dog either.  It is a tough situation though…she drives me crazy but she is a part of this family for better or for worse.  None of us are perfect…we all have traits that others probably don’t appreciate…I know I have some traits that I don’t appreciate!  It’s tough to know that a part of our family is undesirable.  I feel the same way when my girls act out in public, or mistreat their friends.  I hate that it happens, but I love them so very much anyway and I just want everyone else to feel the same way…to love them anyway.  I guess this isn’t really about the dog anymore.  This has been a rough year for me.

On my drive to work one day last week I was reflecting on all of the things that we have done this winter, and I realized that I have really sucked at documenting.  Not just what we did, but how it felt to me.  The kind of thing that I don’t want to forget.  I promise to try to do better.  Starting with the Daddy Daughter Dance from this past weekend.

Leila has had a lot of really fun experiences through her girl scout troop.  We have made blankets for other kids, visited elderly residents at a local nursing home.  It warmed my heart to see Leila go up to a ninety something year old woman and give her a big warm hug.  We have made a trip to a pumpkin patch, and apple orchard and been treated to two hay rack rides.  It has been good for all of us. The latest event was the Sweetheart Dance.

Leila was probably the second proudest lady to ever have Cory on her arm for an evening.

I am one of small number of gym goers who really enjoys January at the gym. That’s right. Crowds and all! Why you may ask…because unlike the other 11 months of the year, I have company. During January, I’m not the only one who has to slow down on the treadmill to pull my shorts down, as the friction of my thighs rubbing together have given them that fat girl shorts in a wad syndrome. 
I can look over and see a kindred spirit in the line of treadmills who is breathing so hard they look like they might pass out, but no…false alarm, just slowing down to adjust the pants.
When I finally give up and stumble off the machine there are plenty of other red faced sweat drenched gym rat wannabees, and I am not alone. I blend in. This year I am hopeful that when the crowd of kindred fatties have long since fallen off the wagon, I will be blended in with the fit and athletic types.  The cool ones, not the meat heads. Wish me luck…

Things I have not done in the last two weeks:

1.  Had a lunch date with my husband, who is no longer my co-worker. In fairness, he is just up the road so lunch dates aren’t gone forever!

2. Taken a picture.  I even got an awesome new lens for Christmas, and I haven’t used it.  I haven’t even taken any pictures with my phone except to send a quick shot of the girls to Cory while he was out of town.

3. Written anything.  I love to look back at old blog posts and feel a sense of pride about the way that I was able to talk about my life in fitting and witty metaphors.  Those posts are unfortunately few and far between and I really hate falling into the trap of writing crap just to have written something.  Kind of like I am doing here tonight.

4.  Relaxed.  If you know me, you probably know that I live my life in a constant state of anxiety.  I roam somewhere between level 3 and 10 on any given day.  The last couple of weeks have pulled through with at least a 7 every day. Telling me not to worry is really a waste of time.  If I wasn’t worrying about something, my mind wouldn’t have the first idea of what to do with itself.  So I worry.  About the weather.  About getting sick. About being late. About screwing up and disappointing someone at the new job.  About alienating co-workers before I have the chance to make them like me.  About missing work. About whether or not I made the right decision to move on.  About Leila’s behavior. About how I look.  About what I weight.  I could go on.

But I will try not to.

About Money.  Ok, I will really stop now.  For now.

I don’t post a lot about work.  When my blog goes viral and everyone who is anyone is reading my posts, I don’t want to end up like Dooce (The original “mommy blogger”) who was fired from her job for writing about her work on her personal blog.  That said, for the next day, I don’t really have a job so I guess its ok to talk about.

Friday was my last day with Vangent.  I have been there since I was fresh out of college and from the beginning I was just so happy that someone wanted to pay me, I would have done about anything.  As it turns out, that attitude will get your some really crappy jobs.  But after a while, if you keep the attitude, it gets you some really great opportunities too.  College may have gotten me in the door, but I have Vangent, and the people that I worked for there to thank for getting into the door at IDT.  It makes me feel a little guilty to leave behind a place and a group of people who have given me so much success, but I took the plunge.  After I made my decision it got even harder.  All of those people that I owe so much to for what I have learned were actually happy for me.  They gave me gifts.  And compliments that make me blush to think about.  It certainly didn’t make it easier to turn in my badge at the end of the day on Friday, but I still did it.  I would like to think that I am brave, that I can see far enough into my future that I can be confident that this is the right thing. I really want to type that I made the right choice, but I have felt that feeling before only to spend a couple of years working in a miserable situation, so I will hold back on self assured claim of awesome decision making and instead say that I am hopeful.  I am hopeful. I am excited. I am motivated and I am also sad.

Monday is my first day as a Project Manager at Integrated DNA Technologies.  A place I am sure I will only casually elude to on this blog, because until I have Dooce’s blog traffic I need a job.

Apparently Leila isn’t the only child of mine who can’t seem to keep her dress down in public. They must have gotten that from one of their aunts.

I haven’t been up for doing much writing lately, but that is no excuse for the lack of photos.  So, without further delay…

Leila lost a tooth.  And then she really lost the tooth.  Somewhere in the couch or the livingroom rug…where ever it went,

I don’t think we will see it again.  Thankfully the tooth fairy accepts apology notes and still delivers the cash.

And to demonstrate just our blog negligent I have been…the new tooth is already half way up.

You can’t really see it, but it is one of her bottom front teeth.  I am sure that Papa Carey could see it when Leila showed off her new look at Thea’s Christmas concert.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,700 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

I am closing out 2011, and starting 2012 with some big changes. Only a couple of weeks into 2012 I will be leaving the employer that I have worked for during all of my career.  It is a bittersweet move.  I am very excited for the new opportunity, but sad to leave the people I have grown close to and to leave an employer who has been very good to me.

I spent a lot of time today going through all of the emails that I had stashed in my “personal” file at my work address.  I enjoyed reading the announcements of pregnancies and engagements from some of my closest friends, and I admittedly fought back tears while I read my grandmother’s broken writing lamenting how much she wished we were closer so she could cuddle my baby.

Lots of memories of the good and the bad that have transpired over the last eight years and I am thankful to be taking those memories with me on my next adventure.