Very often I find myself lost in thought and I start to compose a post for Jumping Daisy, all wonderfully insightful and relate-able I’m sure, but then my mind darts in a different direction and the moment passes.
Some things have changed since I was a regular blogger. I have fallen into the trap of an iPhone addiction. When I have downtime, I am no longer writing – I am playing a mindless game or scrolling through Facebook or Twitter. I would like to think I am still a thinker, a feeler and an observer, but things definitely seem dimmer in here.
I am not sure where I am going with this. That’s the dimness setting in. I hope I find myself back here again. It’s funny, but I really enjoy reading my old posts. Sometimes I think I am a decent writer, and I wonder where it came from but I don’t hesitate to pat myself on the back when I am able to read my own work and feel something of a memory for that place and time.
When I think about this place and time I think about the struggles of reasoning with a teenager who doesn’t seem to understand that right now counts, and the road to the van down by the river is a much more sure bet than the path to success and happiness. (As if I know what true success and happiness look like.) Or the struggles of getting 10 and 5 year old children to appreciate the need for regular bathing. Don’t get me started on screen time. It’s amazing that a thing that wasn’t really a thing at all when my first child was born, is now such a thing that it is a constant struggle and a source of both frustration and of an ample supply of currency when it comes to controlling behavior.
In 5 years, I will have a child in college. 5 years ago, I had an infant. This life moves faster than you can possibly realize until the moment that seemed would never come is over and gone.